新的启程

最近的生活好像有了好多突如其来的变化 - 是否好坏也当然取决于心态。

首先最大的变化便是工作的地方。我终于在呆了两年多的工作场所转了出来了。虽然说我起初想要去的地方并不是此地方，但从中也‘因祸得福’ 吧。有了成长的地方，再苦再累好像什么都值得。之前在同样地方一直呆着，每天犹如重复一日。。。什么动力好像都被消耗了。好在我解脱了👅

第二个大大的变化就是哥哥当爸爸了。为什么这也会影响我的生活呢？无奈的是，因为我们都生活在同一个屋檐下，难免会产生矛盾。当我一着忍和让，有时候真的蛮累的。

以下也是我最近所的到的感想：

1. 学习像是逆水行舟，不进则退

当我们逆着水行驶时，一步努力活着不留意，舟便会顺水流漂流着。我发现我那最空闲的2年工作时候真的没有什么动力。之前的梦想也被岁月消耗掉。可怕的是，我还以为这种无所事事，重复一日的无聊生活或许是我想要的。 2年间，我并没有什么进取心，能准时放工就行 TT

当我被调到另外一个地方工作的时候，内心是惶恐的。因为毕竟我也渐渐习惯了那种安逸度日的日子，突如其来的变化让我产生恐惧。我害怕我的安逸被打扰，也害怕成长的滋味儿。

很感恩的是：虽然说在新的工作里真的比较累，下班的时间也比较不一定 - 但最近我发觉我非常期待上班。原来，学习和成长是一种那么快乐的滋味儿。好久都没有这种感觉了。慢慢的我的学习的动力也恢复了：）

虽然辛苦，但我相信不断的自我突破和自我反省能够帮助我们永远保持对生活的热情和渴望。世界的知识都在等着我们去反觉，就差着我们的行动。就算我们的环境并不支持那么多的成长或培养，我们若保持着对学习真诚的心，一定会从中赢取些珍宝。

2. 想着改变别人，不如调和自己的心态

有时候对别人的要求别太高，不然真的会失望。我们都说将心比心，但有多少人真的能做到呢？当我们遇到自私的人的时候，大多时间都在与他们争分高下，看谁的理比较多。但是往往，什么是自私的？以我的了解，他们往往不会为别人着想，认为全世界以他为中心。

那么我们是要以其人之心，还治其人之身吗？这也可能会显示自己的修养不足吧？

为了让自己心平气和的过日子，我决定调和我的心态。任何逆境和难相处的人都会是我们成长， 让我从中得到启发或着做人的原则。

若别人要自私就自私吧，不必去理会他们。就算是真正会被他们自私的行为影响到，但若能够心平气和的忍，或许也能锻炼出比较高尚的人品吧。 

好啦拜拜👋

25岁感言

 昨天正是在下的生辰～已成功过完1/4世纪啦。 

每年的生日都带着不一样的感概，但今年的生日是别有一番风味呀。昨天我和男朋友去了樟宜机场JEWEL拍了我们的婚纱照！想着年底就要步入礼堂，真是有一点小紧张和不可思议👰。小的时候总猜想着自己到底会几岁结婚或者和什么样子的男子牵手。现在回想起10年前那个整天发白日梦的我，还真的有点好笑。随着人生的不同的阶段的转变，我渐渐意识到光阴似箭，日月如梭的真谛。但是，我非常感谢每一个阶段的结束于开始，因为它们都让我慢慢的成长和成熟。

这一年来，因冠状病毒的传播搞得很多人都不是很好过。非常感恩我还能有一份很稳定的工作等。虽然说当中也有遇到不是很如意的事，但是从中也就此掌握了很多道理和做人之道。以下便是我24-25岁一点当中，获取的珍贵课程。 

1. 勇敢接受建议和批评

我觉得世界上可能有很多难听的话，或者就是让我们难以咽下去的话。而那其中之一对我而言就是建议和批评。

刚刚开始工作时，我会常常为了一点点的小建议或者小批评而搞得自己非常的沮丧。我认为这些建议都是冲着我来的，觉得非常误会。由此，我便会努力的为自己辩驳和解释自己的立场。我的想法是：若自己并不觉得那建议是对的，那么我为什么要接受呢？

可是渐渐的我发现，我们每一个人都有盲点。而对本身的盲点尤其大。或许不是每一个建议和批评都有价值，但我学会了从中取其精华，去除糟粕。愿意聆听建议并不代表我需要接受其中的道理。但是如果我一味的拒绝聆听任何建议的话，我可能会失去成长的机会。当然，有一些批评存粹出自于无稽之谈，我们得学会分辨。

这一步对我而言是一个很大的进步。从小至今，对于批评和建议的本能反应就是反驳而不是静下心来选择聆听。虽然说这并不是我的拿手项目，但是我慢慢的比较接纳建议和批评，慢慢的找到自己的平衡点。

2. 接受自己的同时，别人才会接受你

或许是出自于内心的不安和焦虑感吧，从前的我非常非常的在意别人对我的看法。他人的每一个动作，表情，我都留心。我的言行举止都非常的谨慎，生怕自己会惹人讨厌。但是这种习惯性的讨好和察言观色真的好累。到头来自己都搞不清身边的人是真正喜欢你或者也是在给自己表面功夫。 

这一年我读了蛮多的心理学和自助书。从中我获取了很多感触，也学会慢慢的解开多年的枷锁。人活着不需要总是活得那么小心翼翼，得活得干脆一点。若总是活得小心翼翼和讨好他人才能获取任何感情的话，那么我宁可不要。 

当我接受自己的不足和缺陷的时候，心里是轻松的。好像有一块沉重的石头终于被落下来了，很是清爽。走出笼罩自己的自卑和不安的同时，我也好想开始比较能够包容其他人的不足之处。因为我发现，确实人无完人 -- 我们需要的都是无比的耐心和包容心。

以前若时说和一群朋友出去的话，对我而言是不可能的。因为我很确定自己不是一个团体人物。但今年连我都感到诧异，自己竟然有和一群同时出去玩了。啊，原来真的没有像我想象中那么的可怕☺

3. 自己的努力和成功不需要别人的夸奖

可能很多人都不需要夸奖（？）吧，但是从小到大喜欢察言观的我，渴望被肯定。上学时期比较容易：考到好成绩就很可能会收到夸奖和肯定。进入社会以后呢，发现每一个人‘好’的定义不一定。而这种不规定的定义让我措手不及。

当我们的内心逐渐的强大和成长时，是不需要外在的肯定和否定的。因为我们知道只有内心强大和真实才是真正的对自己的肯定。外在的肯定可能会给我们的自性心一次性的激发，但是往往是不能持久的。

若认为自己干的好时，那么就勇敢的接受自己的成就感吧，哪怕只是那一丁点。就算全世界都无视自己的努力和小成就，那也没有关系-因为我们时自己最大的支持者。 

从事任何项目时，我们所追求的不能单单只是成绩。我们也得学会欣赏自己的辛苦和努力☺✌

好啦，就写到这里吧。希望25岁这一年会过的更加充实和更有真实感。未来的我还是一个问号，但我现在就是将要成为未来的我。学会活在当下，感受每一刻所赐的，迈向更好的我 ❤

Learn conversational Teochew at Udemy!

Hi everyone! 

I wanted to share with you guys a new course that I've created for you to kick off conversational Teochew. It is an online course that consists of 10 easy to follow lecture series. 

You can find the course link here: https://www.udemy.com/course/learn-and-practice-conversational-teochew/

So what exactly inspired me to do this? 

Firstly, when I searched around google, there aren't many places offering Teochew language courses online and I thought it would be interesting to create one. The purpose of the course isn't for you to obtain mastery over this dialect but rather a stepping stone for you to start being fluent in the language. It is organised into bite size topics so that you are able to digest the information better. 

Secondly, being in a healthcare profession myself, being able to speak dialect can sometimes help to better communicate with my patients. If you also meet a lot of elderly like myself, perhaps this course would be suitable for you to connect better with the old folks :) 

Lastly, no other way to put it but passion. Teochew dialect has beautiful intonations that are different the English language that we are used to. At the same time, I found it peculiarly intriguing that Teochew actually bore resemblance to Korean! I cannot explain how excited I felt when I was learning Korean and suddenly I was like "wait a minute.... isn't this the same as Teochew?!". Amazing right?! The excitement that ran through me when I saw the similarities between Mandarin, Korean and Teochew was unbelievable! 

Why should you enrol into this course: 

1. Value for money 

Signing up for a language course outside will easily cost you at least a couple of hundred bucks. With this on demand course, you are getting the basic course at a fraction of the course. 

2. On demand 

You know sometimes we just want to chill on certain days after a tiring day but paid classes may not let you do so. Make up classes may also require you to pay additional. However with this on demand course, you can watch and learn whenever you want :)

3. Easy to follow 

Translations are provided in English and sometimes in Mandarin for you to follow along. Pronunciations are typed out in English - similar to pinyin when learning Mandarin. 

- 

Yes, it is my first ever creation and I'm definitely proud of it :) While it may pale in comparison to startups and being an entrepreneur, I am happy that I took the plunge and did something that I am passionate about. This push came after listening to the audio book "Daring Greatly" but Brene Brown. It encouraged me to dare to be vulnerable and try even if it may fail or if it may receive tonnes of uninspiring comments. If you are also thinking of doing something but your inner self is telling you all sorts of what-ifs, just do it (as long as its legal lol). Anyways, thanks for reading this post and I hope that you could support me in this one, it would be greatly appreciated :) see you around! 

Being conscious of our carbon footprints

I refer to the article posted by Straits Times "Discarded disposables in S'pore enough to fill 400 Olympic swimming pools" and I am appalled by the amount of waste generated by us. Of course, this could be fuelled by the lock downs and the need to dabao (takeaway) our food due to the COVID-19. 

In effort to reduce my carbon footprints, here are some things I did/didn't do to save the earth in my own little ways :) Following the old adage of reduce, reuse and recycle, here's my humble sharing. 

1. Reduce 

One of the best ways to save the environment is to cut down on consumption because that's the only sustainable way in the long run to reduce waste. Some things I did to reduce was to cut down on fast fashion. Looking through my Money Manager app, I'm really proud that I have not bought a single new piece of clothing since the start of this year. I am committed to continue to cut down on fast fashion due to environmental, financial as well as social implications. Shall not touch on them here today. 

As far as possible, I've opted for e-books, e-textbooks and digital note taking now instead of purchasing new books. For every new purchase of books, not only would the demand for natural resources increase, it would potentially clutter my space too. Initially, I was quite hesitant to port over to digital books as I very much like the feels of having a physical book with me. However, if I really do need the physical copy, I would search for second hand books or borrow from the library (reuse/recycle). 

Going back to the astonishing amount of disposable waste we generate, we can try our best to bring along reusable glass/plastic containers if we really need to dabao. I know it is really inconvenient and one might argue that the washing of the containers after that may increase water wastage, I think the latter problem may be a far outcry compared to the first. 

2. Reuse 

Reusing certain items may be an avenue for our creative brain juice to flow! For example, we could use old glass bottles as flower vase instead of buying a flower vase for the sole purpose of putting a flower 👅 Been there and done that and thus, I'm learning to be mindful of my daily consumptions and be more careful when making new purchases. 

For my upcoming new home with my fiance, I'm really happy and proud that my fiance actually agreed to purchase some second hand furnitures for our nest. While I understand that some (AKA our parents) may not really agree with second hand furnitures due to some beliefs, shopping at second hand shops can sometimes give you surprising cost savings! For example, my fiance and I managed to purchase a second hand and well maintained Rosewood antique study table for just $730 at Hock Siong. This is compared to the price quoted to us by another retailer who is selling the identical brand new table for almost $3k! *GASP* As long as you don't mind and the second hand piece is of acceptable quality, why not go for it! :) 

Apart from furnitures, I've started purchasing more pre-loved clothes and bags online as well. My recent purchase was a wedding gown for my pre-wedding shoot for $35 and a bag pack for $18. It took me some time to get over the mental hurdle of purchasing used goods but after some time, I'm very much convinced that reusing and repurposing items help to contribute to a more sustainable future. On the same note, my pre-loved goods are also put on sale on Carousell for a very affordable price to help them look for a new home. Do check out my Carousell store here: https://www.carousell.sg/minimalistickitty22

3. Recycle 

Compared to other countries, Singapore's recycling rate is one of the lowest. This is despite our almost zero effort needed blue recycling bin given to every single household. What do I mean by almost zero effort? Let me explain: 

In Korea, one would have to sort out the different types of recyclables from normal waste and then bring it to the nearest recycling place to throw away the plastic. At the recycling place, there are different containers for different grades of plastic as not all plastic can be recycled. However, in Singapore, all we need to do is to ensure that the plastic are clean and dry before throwing into the blue bin without sorting out tediously. Despite this, many of whom I know still do not recycle. No judgement here, habits are difficult to build but I hope everyone can start to do their part because the earth is really heating up from our unconscious and unmindful exploitation of its resources. 

If you do not know what are the items that can be recycled, please check out this comprehensive list of recyclables/non recyclables here: https://www.nea.gov.sg/docs/default-source/our-services/waste-management/list-of-items-that-are-recyclable-and-not.pdf

For more information about our nation wide recycling programme, you can also check out NEA's website here: https://www.nea.gov.sg/our-services/waste-management/3r-programmes-and-resources/national-recycling-programme

Since earth has given us so much benefits and comforts, shall we do a little part by making the effort to reduce, reuse and recycle please? :) Those little efforts may look insignificant but I assure you that everything counts! 

Skin care diet?!

 Hello everyone! It has been a while since I've last posted and today I wanna talk about my encounter with the term 'Skin care Diet'. You must be wondering like me like what the heck is a skin care diet?! I've only heard about dieting to lose weight thus far. 

TLDR: Skin care diet means stripping your skin care routine to the bare minimum. This made me excited because it means things could potentially become more minimalistic and fuss free for me! After being introduced this term by my friend, I decided to do some digging into this and some useful resources I've found would be Dr Dray, Liah Yoo etc on Youtube. Blogs include Fickle beauty which I've purchased my new set of skin care products from. 

Basically, after scouring through multiple resources, I've come to realised that I've been terribly duped by the skin care industry about needing tonnes of products for better and glowing skin! GUESS WHAT?! The greatest lie I've believed and bought into is that we absolutely need a toner in our regime! NO! Apparently, multiple aestheticians and dermatologists alike have mentioned that toner is not a must have in the skin care routine but rather an optional add on. 

Here are the most important steps in our skin care: 

1. Cleanser 

2. Mosturiser 

3. Sun screen 

At this point if you are not mind blown, it means that you have everything in order. I vividly recall myself slathering tonnes of products onto my face from toner, serum, essence, moisturiser, masks, sleeping mask sun screen onto my face every single day. Imagine how obese my skin would have become if our skin would put on weight with junk skin care.... 

With all that information, I've decided to sell/give away my toner and essences which did not benefit my skin condition. On top of that, I've also learnt that fragrance is a big no no in our skin care. This is especially important if you have sensitive skin like yours truly who tends to react to random things. Fragrance in the form of essential oils, parfumes etc can potentially irritate your skin and cause red bumps (yucks) and worsen acne.  

After contacting https://ficklebeauty.com/ and sending her pictures of my horrendous looking skin, she patiently recommended me only 4 products (one of which is optional) to help to clear my skin. I also took pictures of the current skin care products I'm using and she told me which ones to cut off from my life. The experience was great as she was not pushy and did not recommend things I did not need. She explained the need for each different product and also mentioned that serum is not something that is necessary right now but if I would like to add it into my regime, it's ok too. So anyways, I got myself the cleanser, moisturiser and a sunscreen - all of which are fragrance free :) Oh, she said I could continue to use my mandelic acid toner (an AHA exfoliant) at night to help smoothen out my skin. 

She reassured me that NO MATTER what happens, I gotta keep to this new skin care diet for 14 days in order to see results. Should there be little to no improvement after 14 days with regards to my bumpy skin, she would recommending adding a BHA product into my regime. We shall see! Shall post a before and after photo for comparison and keep sake after 14 days :) stay tune! 

The 3 products cost me $80 dollars (free shipping!). Considering the price and the quantity of the product, I would say that it is in the mid range of being affordable. However, after doing some quick search on shoppee, I've managed to find cheaper options there. I guess it's justified for Fickle Beauty to charge a little bit more given that she gives tailored advice :) For that, I think I might just continue to purchase from her to support her. 

It has been about 3-4 days since I've started my new skin care routine and I must say that my skin looks less irritated and inflamed. The hormonal acne that I had are slowly fading and while there are still some visible bumps on my skin, I think (?) they are getting lesser. Fingers crossed! Will update again 14 days later, bye! 

TOPIK 1 한국어 시험 :)

Hello! It has been a while since I've posted something as I was busy with studying for my Korean proficiency exam TOPIK 1. I finally took it today and yes it is done (for now). 

It was rather surreal to be sitting in an examination hall, faced with a Korean exam script because I would have never thought that I would be doing this even one year ago. Signing up for the test itself was rather impulsive because I felt that at that point of time, I needed something to challenge myself with. 

Before I even started studying Korean language, I did seek some opinions of people around me whether I should be studying Korean in the first place. Reasons why I should not study it was rather compelling - no practical usage, not going Korea to study, waste of time, will just give up after a while etc. To be honest, I was a little discouraged then when I heard all these and it kinda resisted me from signing up for any courses. However, looking back, I am definitely not regretting my decision and bravery for jumping out of my comfort zone and pursuing an interest even if there are no obvious tangible and practical benefits to it. 

Learning a new language has been a fruitful journey (still learning humbly because there's just wayyyy too much to learn :)) and I'm thankful for this experience because it has humbled me in many ways. It has taught me how to appreciate Korean cultural better, watch Korean cartoons and actually laughing at their korean dialogues etc. I don't even know where to begin to explain the little joys during this learning journey. Of course, the journey has not been entirely smooth sailing - there were times where I questioned my sanity as to why I am even learning Korean and times where I felt that I should give up when things got tough. However, I'm glad I've persevered and I hope that I would be able to continue to do so!

Apart from these little nuggets of joy, I would also like to encourage anyone to just go ahead and pursue your interests. Really. There will always be aunties, uncles, friends (whoever you can think of) who would discourage you from going for something you want just because they are limited by their world view. But hey, we are only limited by what we limit ourselves to right? The world is bigger than whatever we can comprehend and although it is scary, it is ok to push ourselves out of our comfort zones sometimes. Perhaps you would be able to discover something greater out there and get to know that you are capable of much bigger things. 

This would be a reminder to myself that when I am learning something new, do not let naysayers deter you. Don't give in to your insecurities, we are meant to push the invisible boundaries that we thought restricted us. However, as we adopt the growth mindset, there is really nothing we cannot do (legal things ah). I'm not here to brag about the achievement or what, just really want to share and encourage everyone to take the leap of faith and do whatever you have always wanted to do. Be it drawing, dancing, a new sport etc, just do it! You will never know what you could ever achieve unless you try to do it :) 

Another take away is that we don't necessary have to do something that is productive or practical. Life is more than being a output machine and we are more than being just measured by what we could contribute. Granted, learning this new language does not have any tangible benefits - it does not help me with my line of work, neither would it help with my daily lives, but what I've gained is a new perspective to this world, an enjoyment of a beautiful language and most importantly, watching K-drama without subtitles eventually. hehe. Don't let people's yardstick be our yardsticks. I guess we are all used to living the prim and proper life and follow the life charted out for us. However, we would never be able to discover the wild flowers blooming at the corner of the sidewalk if we decide not to be courageous and venture. 

In life, there will always be tons of people giving you advice whether you asked for it or not. E.g. When to get a bf, when to get married, how to give birth, how to feed the child, how many children you have, how you should be a female, how you should dress etc. IMO, just screw it. This is our lives and we ought to be focused and live authentically and genuinely. Take the good advice and filter out the useless chatter. Live freely :) 

Alright, that's all for the random and rather out of point blog post that went from Korean test to life LOL. I'm excited about how things would turn out and I really can't wait for the day that I would be able to watch K-drama without subtitles :) 화아팅! 

走出自我认知的黑箱

 

上周在图书馆闲逛的时候，无意间看到了这一本书。这是关于心理和自我调节的书。而作者是希望读者阅读后，能够构建更新的自我认知，让幸福成为生活的常态。 以下便是在下小小的感想～

作者从原生家庭开时，讲述了我们于童年痛苦记忆和原生家庭的纠结。虽然说我们现在的不良行为和决定不能完全怪罪于原生家庭，但多多少少都会被它影响。怎么影响的我就别在这里班门弄斧了，若有兴趣的话，无妨去图书馆借读。我今天要分享的呢，是我在其中感悟到如何放过自己，让自己从黑箱里头走出来，和自己和解。 

很多时候，我们不是因为无法走出黑箱而是我们在潜意识里，一直疯狂的逼迫自己成为黑箱里头的奴隶。从而，不断地在身上加上无数的枷锁。可能是习惯了其中的痛苦吧，好像形成我们无法想象能够幸福一样。 

生活的磨难和痛苦本是常态。唯一能够让内心平静的方法就是接受这是常态，并且和自己内心的挣扎共乘和解。犯错也是人之常情，没有一个人可能毫无瑕疵，十全十美。倘若我们能够接受人无完人，那么就可以在我们的心理空出以个空间装下那个我们所认为不够好的，就的自己。接受自己的不完美，可能就是真正接纳自己的开始。书中说的，当我们成功接受自己的不完美，我们在能够在这种接受中不再小号能量去抵抗，去谴责，去逃避那个原始的自己。或许我们真的很糟糕，但有了这种接纳后，我们能在心平气和的状态中去寻找并且塑造另一个新的自己。

若要活成自我，就别总是在别人的定义中寻找自我。人的定义总是会改变，而重复的改变只会使我们迷失自己，乱了自我的定义。首先，我们得给自己拟定位置 - 而这个位置是别人不能随便去更改的。因为这是自己拟定的自我定义。其二，打从心里的去明白自己的价值观是什么。别人的价值观是可以被参考，但是不能因为自己想要模仿他而把他的价值观成为自己的中心。最后，试着静下心来凝听内心的声音。不要让心声被世界的杂声给淹没了。能够这么做，可能我们能够活得比较明确和自在，因为我们能够慢慢的看清什么是自己真的想要的，和什么是从外面投向我们的绳子。

这本书也提醒了我应该要好好的保护内心的小孩。我们的内心里可能都隐藏着一个小孩子。而这个小孩子无法随着岁月的流失而成长。反而，他会随着时间的流失在心理越藏越深，又是深到连我们自己都无法察觉。而这孩子代表的是我们最初的心，最原始和最单纯的梦想和执着。只是当我们长大的时候，那小孩的思想总是被种种的眼光和意见鄙视，渐渐的，那小孩开始不相信自己任何的梦想是值得的。慢慢的，那小孩变成不安，暴躁，不开心。但是，因为现实中的年龄和心中的小孩并不搭乘，我们只能继续隐瞒。不料的是，每当我们想要去追求梦想，开始为我们梦寐以求的目标前进时，那不安的小孩便会开始作祟。“你根本不够好”，“你还要试吗？根本是在白费力气”，“你看看某某人，和你一样年纪就成功了，你是个失败者”，“没有人会爱你的”，“不管再怎么奴隶，你都不可能会成为优秀者”等的负面思想会开始打压我们的信心。或许这是因为我们从来没有好好的安慰内心的孩子，去鼓励他，和爱护他。当我们能够温柔的对待我们内心的孩子，也是我们成功开始和自己和解的时候吧。因为那孩子也同时代表着我们的软弱和无助。但是即便是无助，我们也能够接受这样的自己。

这本书并非是仙丹，能够治愈我们内心所有的伤和痛。但是看见和了解便是我们开始允准我们走出黑箱的开始。挫折还是会发生，难过和不如意的事常八九，但是若我们成为自己最大的支持者，人生道路上可能些许会少一点寂寞吧。 

人生规划

最近在FB读了白樱的部落格。在文中提到我们每一个人都有属于自己的人生和规划，因此不必盲目地去追求别人的生活。

当我们产生嫉妒的心理，和他人攀比的时候，我们可能会企图把我们的人生目标换成他人的目标。但是，别人的路终究不是我们该走的路。若执意的走下去，我们可能会在茫茫的道路上迷失自我。

从小到大，我总是追这别人的影子长大。我以为如果我能够成为某某人，或者成为父母心中的某某成功人士，我便会快了。但我渐渐的意识到，就算我成功地抵达那目的地，其实我一点也不快了。反而，心中产生迷惑和失落。那么久以来，我一直以别人的标准为自己的标准 - 难怪生活中好像越来越迷茫。 

渐渐的，我开始想为自己而活，开始寻找自己的方向。但是，当我们开始寻找不一样的人生道路时，一定会引来异样的眼光和意见。

比如说，我一直以来都很想学习新的语言，而那次看上的语言便是韩语。当我问问周围人的想法时，得到的确实些负面的想法。他们都说学习这些东西没什么用处。原因是因为我都不在韩国，都没有打算去韩国，或者说根本没有练习韩语的机会，学了实在是浪费金钱时间。一开始我真的动摇了。我本打算放弃这想法 - 可能真的不实际？可是想来想去，我还是决定去报名学习韩语课程了。值得庆幸的是，至今我并没有后悔过。反而，我在这学习的过程中获得非常多的收获，很高兴我并没有因别人的否定而放弃自己的初中。 

在人生道路中，一定会有我们的支持者和否定者。虽然说我们不应该完全的忽略否定者的意见，但我们要试着从中吸取精华，去除糟粕。该听的我们便听，不该接受的意见就让它随风而去吧。从大学时期开始，我便以为毕业后就得像别的成功人士一样去考研究院才算得上有一番成就。但我也渐渐的明白，那是别人的路，别人的选择 - 我不必以他们的人生结构为自己的标准。 

很无奈的是，我们终究无法控制别人的嘴和意见。比如说，很多朋友都告诉我我这年龄结婚，是不是太早了，毕竟还没有经历生么人生体验呢。又有人说最好是早结婚早定下早生子越好，这才算的上美满人生。而这些幸福美满的定义到底是取决于哪儿呢？反正不是我。不必去太在意别人人生的定义，努力去寻找自己的人生吧。反正我们怎么样都不可能活成别人眼中成功的定义，那么我么又何苦逼迫自己委屈求全呢？ 

如果说你们已经大半辈子以他人的标准生活，开始感到疲惫不堪，现在开始自己的人生并不迟。自古以来，我们女生总是有数不完的规矩和礼仪的恪守，虽然说现在时代不同了，以往的枷锁可能渐渐被解开了，但是那枷锁总是以另外一种方式被呈现出来。我们努力的活出自己心中幸福的模样吧。我们不必被任何定义绑架，只要是不犯法，不伤人的，尽管去试一试吧。若失败了，再试一下。我们终究是在自己的赛道上赛跑，而在这赛道上的参赛者，都是不同时期的自己而已。

三八妇女节快乐！

Thoughts on brevity of life

    It is rather unnerving to see news of people having unnatural deaths recently. It's as if there is a curse placed when there is string of deaths occurring. The recent events of people dying at totally unexpected situations, people who toyed with danger and just mere accidents got me thinking about how fragile and temporal our existence could be. 

    In Psalm 90:12 the Psalmist cried out to the Lord to teach us to number our days so that we may gain wisdom. In the midst of hundreds over verses in the book of Psalm, it seemed like a verse which I would casually browse through at my age. I mean, what could possibly happen at my age right? I've barely started living my adulthood! However, as I began to tune in to how brief our lives on earth could be, I began to appreciate the meaning in this verse. No one could absolutely know when the expiry date of our lives would be and the next moment could be the end of our lives. The awareness of the brevity of our lives help us focus on things that are truly important to us. When we know that there is a dateline to our projects, we become more focused and aim to complete the job before the dateline. I think this would apply to our lives if we were to live each day as our last and be prepared before we are gone. 

    I started to reflect if I have been wasting my life on unnecessary pursuits and if I could live my life in an eternal perspective instead. When I viewed my life in this lens, many things which I felt was important became less of a priority while things that used to be less of a priority seemed to have moved up the ladder of importance. 

    This shift in perspective can be described as a rather out of the world experience when I began to view things in the eternal perspective. Questions I would ask myself would be: would this matter in a few years time? Is this really worth the fight and unhappiness? Would I hold this of importance if I knew that today would be my last? Of course, I am far from any saint or enlightened beings in the spectrum of time but I do enjoy such meta-life questions once in a while. It makes find that one thing that is important in the hustles and bustles of life where I tend to just live life as the current pushes me along. As I flow along the currents of life, at least I am aware that this is a journey of no return and the journey forward is the only way I could possibly go. 

    Hence, what this new insight gave me was to live life in the present. There is no point holding on the past hurts and grudges because there is simply no time to waste living in misery. My countdown timer will only get shorter and shorter and every minute spent in misery is one minute less spent in joy and happiness. I guess we often punish ourselves unknowingly by holding to past hurts and mistakes inflicted by our family, friends and other people around us. The hurt has already been inflicted and that person probably has forgotten about it or was never aware of it. So why continue punishing ourselves in our minds? With this thought in mind, I'm learning how to look at my life in a macro-perspective compared to a micro one and it helps me in resolving past conflicts. I am responsible for my own life, happiness and the only way I am going to make this life count is to live in the present and move forward.

    Similar to the previous point, I am also learning how to manage my own reaction towards possible unfairness, injustice and hurt. As I release myself from past unhappiness, I cannot stop future events from happening. However, I am able to control how I choose to respond to future events. Often, I find myself getting angry or annoyed because someone has been rude, difficult and just impossible to please. It is definitely natural to feel angry when I am being disrespected and stepped all over. While I do not agree with being a doormat and that I should always draw clear boundaries with such people, perhaps it is unnecessary to invest too much negative emotions into such situations. When we are presented with negative emotions, we can either choose to entertain it or ignore it. I've started having this internal monologue telling myself that it is not necessarily to get angry in several situations because it does not contribute to improving the situation. Instead, concentrate on what constructive and if there isn't anything I could possibly do about it, I could always manage my own emotions. 

    Lastly, the brevity of life has also reminded me that we are but nomads in this life. Nothing we own now could be ours forever and we are merely tenants on earth. Hence, the materials, fame, money, accolades that we so dearly covet after are meaningless once we are taken away abruptly. While there is nothing wrong in pursuing those in its essence, but do not forget to give back and be a light that shines for others when we still possibly can. It is a reminder to myself to not forget to spend time with those who matter and not to waste time on those who don't. Stop chasing after people/things that generate negative returns, hoping that they will one day make my life worthwhile. The things and people that I have are what I need and I what I need I already have. 

    In line with living a minimalistic and clutter free life, removing the thoughts that clutter my mind will also free myself more. The more we are aware of how ephemeral our lives are, the more crystal clear we would be about what we need in our lives. 

    Stay safe and stay woke :) 

My Valentines day!

 Chinese New year and valentines day happen to fall on the same day this year but because of COVID and its regulations, things were quite different. 

Valentines day this year was a little bit more special than the previous years although there wasn't really a celebration or the typical flowers gifting. In fact, I found this year's v day closer to heart because we both valued and treasured what was more important - relationship. 

I'm not dissing the flower gifting and candle light dinners going around the globe during V day but for us, as cliche as it sounds, every other day could be valentines day and it need not be the 14 Feb. 

Yes! So there weren't any fancy flowers or atas restaurant dates (we did go to Collins and eat yesterday) but there was a mutual understanding that simple appreciation of each other triumphs all other gifts. 

To me, it signified a sort of emotional growth on my part as I know longer compared myself to my friends on Instagram and how fancy their valentines day was. Although they went on fancy restaurants, received beautiful flowers, jewellery etc, I knew in my heart that I am still contented and happy without those. Life is much lighter when I am not weighed down by much desires. **disclaimer, I'm happy for those who received the gifts, not trying to judge them or what** 

I guess we don't really have to fluff up or enhance any relationship with materials. What's most important in any relationship be it bgr or friendships is that the hearts are close together. While Valentines day is a great day to show appreciation to your other half, don't forget to show love on non special occasions as well :) 

This is a meant to be a short post, so here i am wishing everyone a belated v day and happy chinese new year :)

Update on Poh Kim Jewellery

 Hello! I'm back with the update on my newly collected rings from Poh Kim Jewellery :)

It took about a month or so from our first appointment for our rings to be done so if brides to be have a short timeline, I think PK may be able to rush for you. The main reason for this fast and furious workmanship (with quality as well) is that they have an in house lab as mentioned in my previous post! I believe that with an in house lab, the quality can be better controlled as well and less time is wasted on delivery etc. From what I know after enquiring with multiple branded jewellery shops, they do not have factories in Singapore to save costs and hence they will have to get their rings from overseas factories. This means that there will be unexpected delays in shipping due to COVID-19, CNY, public holidays etc, which may ultimately affect your ring collection date. 

Here's the outline of today's post:

1. Quality 

2. Service 

3. Cost 

4. Conclusion 

Ok, enough with the side track. Here are our rings !! :) 

I love it!!!! Paiseh, obviously my fingers aren't finger model standard - so just look at the ring ok. 

Quality:

Definitely worth the weight in gold. When we went around for ring shopping, T and I saw many similar designs with varying prices and weight. One of the jewellery we went to quoted us $1k +++ for the exact same design (1 ring only hor!) and with comparable weight to the one we have now. Another jewellery shop offered a cheaper price but the weight was much lighter than the one we have. This meant that the ring is likely to have a hollow centre (less gold). 

In terms of quality and finish, I think it is comparable to all the big brands we went to and the price was OMG so good! The rings were very well polished and we have nothing to complain about :) happy! The rings came together in a box as shown in the picture above so we did not have to worry about getting another box. Of course, if you want a fancier box on your actual day, you may have to source on tb or something. Otherwise, we are happy with the presentation. 

Service: 

We booked an appointment to collect our rings on a Saturday. We were served quickly although there were other couples choosing rings etc. No time wasted and efficient service. Recommended! The aunties and uncles were really friendly and created a homely environment. T & I are also considering to return to them to make our Si dian jin (四点金). Oh yes, I forgot to mention that they do have customisation service as well. You can follow them on their instagram page @pohkimjewellery to check out their designs. I believe that they are able to produce anything as long you have an idea of what you want or best still, come with a picture lol. 

Aunty said that should we get fat and the rings cannot fit anymore by the end of the ring, they offer free resizing service! Hopefully T and I will not need to utilise this service ><

Cost: 

In total, our set of rings was $1290. We paid $200 deposit on the first visit and subsequently $1090 when we collected the rings. Payment only by cash, cheque or paynow transfer only. So sorry, no cashback :( overall payment was fuss free. 

While I expected my ring to cost more than T's because of those beautiful and exciting shiny diamonds, it turned out that his was more expensive (not by a lot la). That's probably because he has gigantic hands compared to my miniature version and thus more gold had to be casted into his haha. I love how solid the rings feel in our hands and the price is definitely worth it. 

For the accurate break down of the cost, my ring costs $630 and weighs 2.87g and T's ring cost $660 and weighs 5.30g. GST absorbed by them (kamsahamnida!!!) 

Initially, I was a little worried because almost all the shops I went to quoted us at least $800 plus for this ring design and there was no way we could fit into our budget... but omg, I feel so lucky that PK is able to deliver this design for us at such affordable price! Really really blessed :) 

Comfort: 

We chose the flat internal surface for better fit. T and I do not like to feel something on our fingers when wearing the ring and thus the aunty recommended a flat internal surface fit. You can opt for other fits if you wish but if you desire ergonomic comfort fit then I would recommend a flat internal fit! 

We chose an exterior surface that did not have much protrusion so that it wouldn't get caught in gloves should we wear them during work. This is important because we certainly do not want to risk throwing our rings accidentally together with our gloves should they get caught. 

Conclusion:

Ultimately, we are very pleased with our purchase and we are about $400 below our budget which we have set initially for our wedding rings. It is possible to find good quality rings within our budget if you seek hard enough. If you are not brand conscious and want to be a prudent budget bride/bridegroom, I highly recommend you guys to check out Poh Kim Jewellery. It is really a hidden gem stone in Singapore and it would be such a pity if people do not discover it. 

After going down to that area for a few times (for my renovation and rings), it is actually very conveniently located, contrary to what I thought! There are many direct buses from Outram, Tiong Bahru, Chinatown and Habourfront MRT. Do check them out and happy planning for your wedding!