Thoughts on brevity of life

    It is rather unnerving to see news of people having unnatural deaths recently. It's as if there is a curse placed when there is string of deaths occurring. The recent events of people dying at totally unexpected situations, people who toyed with danger and just mere accidents got me thinking about how fragile and temporal our existence could be. 

    In Psalm 90:12 the Psalmist cried out to the Lord to teach us to number our days so that we may gain wisdom. In the midst of hundreds over verses in the book of Psalm, it seemed like a verse which I would casually browse through at my age. I mean, what could possibly happen at my age right? I've barely started living my adulthood! However, as I began to tune in to how brief our lives on earth could be, I began to appreciate the meaning in this verse. No one could absolutely know when the expiry date of our lives would be and the next moment could be the end of our lives. The awareness of the brevity of our lives help us focus on things that are truly important to us. When we know that there is a dateline to our projects, we become more focused and aim to complete the job before the dateline. I think this would apply to our lives if we were to live each day as our last and be prepared before we are gone. 

    I started to reflect if I have been wasting my life on unnecessary pursuits and if I could live my life in an eternal perspective instead. When I viewed my life in this lens, many things which I felt was important became less of a priority while things that used to be less of a priority seemed to have moved up the ladder of importance. 

    This shift in perspective can be described as a rather out of the world experience when I began to view things in the eternal perspective. Questions I would ask myself would be: would this matter in a few years time? Is this really worth the fight and unhappiness? Would I hold this of importance if I knew that today would be my last? Of course, I am far from any saint or enlightened beings in the spectrum of time but I do enjoy such meta-life questions once in a while. It makes find that one thing that is important in the hustles and bustles of life where I tend to just live life as the current pushes me along. As I flow along the currents of life, at least I am aware that this is a journey of no return and the journey forward is the only way I could possibly go. 

    Hence, what this new insight gave me was to live life in the present. There is no point holding on the past hurts and grudges because there is simply no time to waste living in misery. My countdown timer will only get shorter and shorter and every minute spent in misery is one minute less spent in joy and happiness. I guess we often punish ourselves unknowingly by holding to past hurts and mistakes inflicted by our family, friends and other people around us. The hurt has already been inflicted and that person probably has forgotten about it or was never aware of it. So why continue punishing ourselves in our minds? With this thought in mind, I'm learning how to look at my life in a macro-perspective compared to a micro one and it helps me in resolving past conflicts. I am responsible for my own life, happiness and the only way I am going to make this life count is to live in the present and move forward.

    Similar to the previous point, I am also learning how to manage my own reaction towards possible unfairness, injustice and hurt. As I release myself from past unhappiness, I cannot stop future events from happening. However, I am able to control how I choose to respond to future events. Often, I find myself getting angry or annoyed because someone has been rude, difficult and just impossible to please. It is definitely natural to feel angry when I am being disrespected and stepped all over. While I do not agree with being a doormat and that I should always draw clear boundaries with such people, perhaps it is unnecessary to invest too much negative emotions into such situations. When we are presented with negative emotions, we can either choose to entertain it or ignore it. I've started having this internal monologue telling myself that it is not necessarily to get angry in several situations because it does not contribute to improving the situation. Instead, concentrate on what constructive and if there isn't anything I could possibly do about it, I could always manage my own emotions. 

    Lastly, the brevity of life has also reminded me that we are but nomads in this life. Nothing we own now could be ours forever and we are merely tenants on earth. Hence, the materials, fame, money, accolades that we so dearly covet after are meaningless once we are taken away abruptly. While there is nothing wrong in pursuing those in its essence, but do not forget to give back and be a light that shines for others when we still possibly can. It is a reminder to myself to not forget to spend time with those who matter and not to waste time on those who don't. Stop chasing after people/things that generate negative returns, hoping that they will one day make my life worthwhile. The things and people that I have are what I need and I what I need I already have. 

    In line with living a minimalistic and clutter free life, removing the thoughts that clutter my mind will also free myself more. The more we are aware of how ephemeral our lives are, the more crystal clear we would be about what we need in our lives. 

    Stay safe and stay woke :) 

My Valentines day!

 Chinese New year and valentines day happen to fall on the same day this year but because of COVID and its regulations, things were quite different. 

Valentines day this year was a little bit more special than the previous years although there wasn't really a celebration or the typical flowers gifting. In fact, I found this year's v day closer to heart because we both valued and treasured what was more important - relationship. 

I'm not dissing the flower gifting and candle light dinners going around the globe during V day but for us, as cliche as it sounds, every other day could be valentines day and it need not be the 14 Feb. 

Yes! So there weren't any fancy flowers or atas restaurant dates (we did go to Collins and eat yesterday) but there was a mutual understanding that simple appreciation of each other triumphs all other gifts. 

To me, it signified a sort of emotional growth on my part as I know longer compared myself to my friends on Instagram and how fancy their valentines day was. Although they went on fancy restaurants, received beautiful flowers, jewellery etc, I knew in my heart that I am still contented and happy without those. Life is much lighter when I am not weighed down by much desires. **disclaimer, I'm happy for those who received the gifts, not trying to judge them or what** 

I guess we don't really have to fluff up or enhance any relationship with materials. What's most important in any relationship be it bgr or friendships is that the hearts are close together. While Valentines day is a great day to show appreciation to your other half, don't forget to show love on non special occasions as well :) 

This is a meant to be a short post, so here i am wishing everyone a belated v day and happy chinese new year :)

Update on Poh Kim Jewellery

 Hello! I'm back with the update on my newly collected rings from Poh Kim Jewellery :)

It took about a month or so from our first appointment for our rings to be done so if brides to be have a short timeline, I think PK may be able to rush for you. The main reason for this fast and furious workmanship (with quality as well) is that they have an in house lab as mentioned in my previous post! I believe that with an in house lab, the quality can be better controlled as well and less time is wasted on delivery etc. From what I know after enquiring with multiple branded jewellery shops, they do not have factories in Singapore to save costs and hence they will have to get their rings from overseas factories. This means that there will be unexpected delays in shipping due to COVID-19, CNY, public holidays etc, which may ultimately affect your ring collection date. 

Here's the outline of today's post:

1. Quality 

2. Service 

3. Cost 

4. Conclusion 

Ok, enough with the side track. Here are our rings !! :) 

I love it!!!! Paiseh, obviously my fingers aren't finger model standard - so just look at the ring ok. 

Quality:

Definitely worth the weight in gold. When we went around for ring shopping, T and I saw many similar designs with varying prices and weight. One of the jewellery we went to quoted us $1k +++ for the exact same design (1 ring only hor!) and with comparable weight to the one we have now. Another jewellery shop offered a cheaper price but the weight was much lighter than the one we have. This meant that the ring is likely to have a hollow centre (less gold). 

In terms of quality and finish, I think it is comparable to all the big brands we went to and the price was OMG so good! The rings were very well polished and we have nothing to complain about :) happy! The rings came together in a box as shown in the picture above so we did not have to worry about getting another box. Of course, if you want a fancier box on your actual day, you may have to source on tb or something. Otherwise, we are happy with the presentation. 

Service: 

We booked an appointment to collect our rings on a Saturday. We were served quickly although there were other couples choosing rings etc. No time wasted and efficient service. Recommended! The aunties and uncles were really friendly and created a homely environment. T & I are also considering to return to them to make our Si dian jin (四点金). Oh yes, I forgot to mention that they do have customisation service as well. You can follow them on their instagram page @pohkimjewellery to check out their designs. I believe that they are able to produce anything as long you have an idea of what you want or best still, come with a picture lol. 

Aunty said that should we get fat and the rings cannot fit anymore by the end of the ring, they offer free resizing service! Hopefully T and I will not need to utilise this service ><

Cost: 

In total, our set of rings was $1290. We paid $200 deposit on the first visit and subsequently $1090 when we collected the rings. Payment only by cash, cheque or paynow transfer only. So sorry, no cashback :( overall payment was fuss free. 

While I expected my ring to cost more than T's because of those beautiful and exciting shiny diamonds, it turned out that his was more expensive (not by a lot la). That's probably because he has gigantic hands compared to my miniature version and thus more gold had to be casted into his haha. I love how solid the rings feel in our hands and the price is definitely worth it. 

For the accurate break down of the cost, my ring costs $630 and weighs 2.87g and T's ring cost $660 and weighs 5.30g. GST absorbed by them (kamsahamnida!!!) 

Initially, I was a little worried because almost all the shops I went to quoted us at least $800 plus for this ring design and there was no way we could fit into our budget... but omg, I feel so lucky that PK is able to deliver this design for us at such affordable price! Really really blessed :) 

Comfort: 

We chose the flat internal surface for better fit. T and I do not like to feel something on our fingers when wearing the ring and thus the aunty recommended a flat internal surface fit. You can opt for other fits if you wish but if you desire ergonomic comfort fit then I would recommend a flat internal fit! 

We chose an exterior surface that did not have much protrusion so that it wouldn't get caught in gloves should we wear them during work. This is important because we certainly do not want to risk throwing our rings accidentally together with our gloves should they get caught. 

Conclusion:

Ultimately, we are very pleased with our purchase and we are about $400 below our budget which we have set initially for our wedding rings. It is possible to find good quality rings within our budget if you seek hard enough. If you are not brand conscious and want to be a prudent budget bride/bridegroom, I highly recommend you guys to check out Poh Kim Jewellery. It is really a hidden gem stone in Singapore and it would be such a pity if people do not discover it. 

After going down to that area for a few times (for my renovation and rings), it is actually very conveniently located, contrary to what I thought! There are many direct buses from Outram, Tiong Bahru, Chinatown and Habourfront MRT. Do check them out and happy planning for your wedding!