It is rather unnerving to see news of people having unnatural deaths recently. It's as if there is a curse placed when there is string of deaths occurring. The recent events of people dying at totally unexpected situations, people who toyed with danger and just mere accidents got me thinking about how fragile and temporal our existence could be.
In Psalm 90:12 the Psalmist cried out to the Lord to teach us to number our days so that we may gain wisdom. In the midst of hundreds over verses in the book of Psalm, it seemed like a verse which I would casually browse through at my age. I mean, what could possibly happen at my age right? I've barely started living my adulthood! However, as I began to tune in to how brief our lives on earth could be, I began to appreciate the meaning in this verse. No one could absolutely know when the expiry date of our lives would be and the next moment could be the end of our lives. The awareness of the brevity of our lives help us focus on things that are truly important to us. When we know that there is a dateline to our projects, we become more focused and aim to complete the job before the dateline. I think this would apply to our lives if we were to live each day as our last and be prepared before we are gone.
I started to reflect if I have been wasting my life on unnecessary pursuits and if I could live my life in an eternal perspective instead. When I viewed my life in this lens, many things which I felt was important became less of a priority while things that used to be less of a priority seemed to have moved up the ladder of importance.
This shift in perspective can be described as a rather out of the world experience when I began to view things in the eternal perspective. Questions I would ask myself would be: would this matter in a few years time? Is this really worth the fight and unhappiness? Would I hold this of importance if I knew that today would be my last? Of course, I am far from any saint or enlightened beings in the spectrum of time but I do enjoy such meta-life questions once in a while. It makes find that one thing that is important in the hustles and bustles of life where I tend to just live life as the current pushes me along. As I flow along the currents of life, at least I am aware that this is a journey of no return and the journey forward is the only way I could possibly go.
Hence, what this new insight gave me was to live life in the present. There is no point holding on the past hurts and grudges because there is simply no time to waste living in misery. My countdown timer will only get shorter and shorter and every minute spent in misery is one minute less spent in joy and happiness. I guess we often punish ourselves unknowingly by holding to past hurts and mistakes inflicted by our family, friends and other people around us. The hurt has already been inflicted and that person probably has forgotten about it or was never aware of it. So why continue punishing ourselves in our minds? With this thought in mind, I'm learning how to look at my life in a macro-perspective compared to a micro one and it helps me in resolving past conflicts. I am responsible for my own life, happiness and the only way I am going to make this life count is to live in the present and move forward.
Similar to the previous point, I am also learning how to manage my own reaction towards possible unfairness, injustice and hurt. As I release myself from past unhappiness, I cannot stop future events from happening. However, I am able to control how I choose to respond to future events. Often, I find myself getting angry or annoyed because someone has been rude, difficult and just impossible to please. It is definitely natural to feel angry when I am being disrespected and stepped all over. While I do not agree with being a doormat and that I should always draw clear boundaries with such people, perhaps it is unnecessary to invest too much negative emotions into such situations. When we are presented with negative emotions, we can either choose to entertain it or ignore it. I've started having this internal monologue telling myself that it is not necessarily to get angry in several situations because it does not contribute to improving the situation. Instead, concentrate on what constructive and if there isn't anything I could possibly do about it, I could always manage my own emotions.
Lastly, the brevity of life has also reminded me that we are but nomads in this life. Nothing we own now could be ours forever and we are merely tenants on earth. Hence, the materials, fame, money, accolades that we so dearly covet after are meaningless once we are taken away abruptly. While there is nothing wrong in pursuing those in its essence, but do not forget to give back and be a light that shines for others when we still possibly can. It is a reminder to myself to not forget to spend time with those who matter and not to waste time on those who don't. Stop chasing after people/things that generate negative returns, hoping that they will one day make my life worthwhile. The things and people that I have are what I need and I what I need I already have.
In line with living a minimalistic and clutter free life, removing the thoughts that clutter my mind will also free myself more. The more we are aware of how ephemeral our lives are, the more crystal clear we would be about what we need in our lives.
Stay safe and stay woke :)
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