九九归一，化繁为简

最近读了一本书 《舍得》。而书中这句话 “九九归一，化繁为简”让我觉得印象深刻。智者所说的简单，并不是指内容的贫乏，而是一种繁华过后的觉醒。以幸福的人生一定是去繁就简的人生，一个懂得克制自己欲望的人生。 

我知道你们会不会如此：每当我享尽了美食佳肴后，总是会渴望简单的一顿餐。不需要鲍鱼牛排红酒，只需要稀饭和肉丝我便满足。或许我们每一个人极为开心的时候时候我们去繁就简的时刻吧。

人的欲望很大，有时候大都连自己都被它吞噬掉。没有止境的欲望只会让自己更为痛苦。因为得到了想要的目标后，因为不懂得知足常乐而反而感到不快乐。很快的就会寻找下一个更大的目标。到头来很可能内心也被消耗到只剩下空虚。 

简单便是一种美。东西太复杂了，反而找不到合心点。简单让我们更为实在的生活和平常日常的平静和快乐。今天我去了大学的学生餐厅吃了当年非常爱吃的水饺面。虽然外界物价膨胀，但是这面依然是当年的价钱和口味。吃着吃着，好像比起海鲜烤肉，这简简单单的一餐，让我觉得比较自在和开心。或许口味不能和米其林饭店的面比较吧，但我更加欣赏不浮不夸的阿姨和朴素的学校陈设。

我们每一个人都有欲望，那是好的。但凡我们发觉我们的欲望已经成为不能控制的恶魔时，那可能是时候给自己一个警惕了。节制不住欲望，不可能明白知足常乐的道理。而领悟不到这个道理的话，或许人生只能在无谓的竞争和攀比下度过吧～

Thoughts on my personal growth

It has been a long while since I had a whole week to myself thanks to URTI ☺Well we can call that blessing in disguise because with physical rest, it comes with mental and emotional rest as well. While I was reflecting about the past 4 months of 2022, it made me realise how much I've grown as a person ever since I've gotten married. 

Calvin Coolidge says, “All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work.”

Living without my parents and leaving the comfort zone that was known to me was scary but necessary. While it sounds stupid, but I am really happy that I've learnt how to use a pressure cooker, learnt how to cook, learnt how to keep the house clean, learnt how to cut a fruit?! and above all, learning how to be ok to learn new things!

It was definitely uncomfortable to be place in a new environment and trying to navigate around. However, little by little, I knew I was getting better at things that didn't come so naturally to me. Here are some things I've grown thus far (gonna keep working at it!): 

1. Independence 

Just like what I've mentioned above, wielding a knife to cut a guava or a dragon fruit seemed like a formidable task to me just months ago. Today, while the guava I cut didn't look ready for a fruit display, I was certainly happy that I didn't chop my fingers off by accident, and I didn't have to ask for help!

I strongly believe that with hard work, there will always be progress. And that means even if we don't see the results immediately. Independence is a process and not an end result ~ I'm excited how much more I can grow and learn months ahead. 

2. Inquisitiveness 

Life stops when you stop learning. Keeping an inquisitive and experimental spirit helps to spice up some routine in my life. I used to be super afraid of trying new things and recipes when I am cooking - stick to the familiar right? That meant that I've always been cooking and eating the same old safe recipe that I was used to. Comfort is safe but it could also lead me to regression and boredom. I needed to be braver and experimental. 

Being inquisitive was helpful. A quick search on Youtube showed me thousands of possibilities with just those same ingredients I had in the fridge. Apart from burning up the kitchen and burning my food, what else could go wrong? Experimenting with new recipes and actually succeeded at not killing both myself and T was a fantastic accomplishment to me :) What this taught me was there will always be the first time. Even a pro has his first time right? Don't be afraid to fail and you will see the results of success. 

3. Emotional stability 

I used to be a super emotional person and many would just attribute that to my gender lol. Swinging to extreme ends of the pendulum could possibly happen in moments throughout the day when I was younger and I never knew why. Now, I was quite surprised that I don't even remember when was the last episode... 

The gradual calm and stability likely didn't ambush me overnight but I want to thank those infinite wisdom that were imparted to me via the books I've read. Those book spoke through my soul and washed away the impurities that bogged my restless heart down. They taught me to be more acutely away of my emotions and perhaps, just like listening to an inner child, it brought peace and maturity. 

Emotional stability to me is a gift and a form of liberation. Extreme swings of emotions no longer taunt me like a school bully. Now I could look at it face to face and smile. Acknowledging the presence of the emotion and moving on gave me control. On top of that, I can no longer be held hostage by the emotions of other people. I am whole. 

4. Boundaries 

I think with emotional stability, it comes with a sense of self and individuality. It is so much easier for me now to state my boundaries and show people how I want to be treated. I still get scared and nervous when letting know other's how I feel about their treatment towards me, but it is getting easier. 

Emotional stability generates the strength one has to erect safe boundaries to protect oneself. When one is a wreck, I am not to certain if one actually knows what healthy boundaries and where to draw them. Like aways, I give thanks to the wisdom in books and podcasts on boundaries, which taught me that WE teach people how they can treat us. And that really starts from self respect. If we treat ourselves like trash, then we cannot expect others to treat us like treasure. When I am tempted to treat myself like trash and feed myself with negativity, I always try to remind myself that this will form a loop that allows others to do that to me too. 

Honestly, I am not great at this especially with family members. But I do think that by starting small, saying no to that upsize, saying no to going out when you just wanna stay at home, helps. 

~

I have to say that I am quite happy and contented right now although life has been quite busy and there has been lots of new things to learn. I feel the most alive when I am learning something new and I hope to be a better me with time :) bye ~