Looking back at 2020

It is almost mandatory to do a reflection on 2020 when it comes to the end of the year betul? To make the post more readable and also to facilitate my reflection, i'll be breaking the post up into categories :) 

Relationship 

So the greatest change this year was that after I've received the coveted sapphire stone, I've evolved into T's fiance! We have been dating for about 2.5 years now and when he asked, I gotta catch him all! ✌

It has been a challenging year as per other couples especially during the circuit breaker period. I was down with dengue and we couldn't meet unless through Facetime and that was really sad :( But through that period, I think both of us grew more secure in the relationship and I guess how we both pokemons got to evolve. 

Finances 

As per my previous blog post (sry it's in chinese haha), I talked about how I gave away almost 3-4 bags of clothings. During that process of Marie-kondo-ing, I've realised how wasteful I've been and what a hoarder I was/am LOL. (i'm still very much a work in progress haha).

One of the largest reason for my diverse (read ridiculous) collection of clothings was that I believed things could buy me happiness subconsciously. That meant that whenever I felt unhappy or emotionally insecure, I would buy stuff... while the things that I buy don't usually cost a bomb, these little costs add up and amount to a lot of money. Being more aware of taking care of the environment also helps me to be more conscious about my consumption.

Somewhere along September this year, I really told myself that I NEED TO STOP BUYING unnecessary things! First, I'm contributing more to the waste generation and indirectly killing the environment and secondly, these material goods will never buy me the happiness that I want! While it would definitely sound impressive if i were to say that I stopped buying anything immediately, I didn't. Instead, I gave myself small milestones: 

1. I am only allowed to buy 1 piece of clothing every 2 months. 

2. Give myself 1 month to think before I make the purchase. If I still want it after 1 month, then go for it. If not then don't buy it. This prevents me from making impulsive decisions especially when retailers throw their marketing strategies at you. **of course, i still fail at times** 

So far I don't think I've bought anything unnecessary for the past 2 months and I'm proud of myself that I've not succumbed to the x'mas and new year's sale tactics thus far (fingers crossed).

Overall, it has been an upward learning curve this year as I learn how to manage my expenditure and maximise my savings rate especially with my wedding and renovation coming up. Across the year, my frivolous expenditure has dipped although I saw my necessary expenditure going up! Onward soldier! 

Work 

Work has always meant to glorify God but ever since it has been tainted by sin, men has always suffered from the futility of work. 

For many months, I wrestled with myself. I wondered almost everyday if I chose the wrong profession or if I was simply just not good enough? Why weren't my efforts not recognised by my bosses despite putting in my best efforts and even to the extent of pushing myself? Was I not working hard enough? Why are there unfair treatments in the workplace? Aren't we all the same? 

To be honest, many of these questions remain unanswered. However, through praying and reading christian books, one thing is for sure - God created work so that through work we can glorify him. The angst and anguish I've felt resulted from my misplaced self esteem. I placed my importance on human recognition and not on God's pleasure. I valued people's praises more than my creator's attention. My priorities were mixed up and my idolatry was simply to be recognised. 

To be fair, it is not wrong to be desire to be known. Don't we all want to be known by someone we love or for some talent we have? However, the problem lies at where we crave the attention from. One can never be satisfied even if the whole world's spot light is on you. One will somehow still feel incomplete and unaccomplished. What I've come to realise slowly was that when I work, I should work to please the audience of One. When the false god of success, achievement and fame shatters, let the one true God be enthrone. When I discovered the goodness of just seeking the attention of One, I felt the peace, and comfort that I've never felt before. My soul rested upon him. His yoke is indeed easy and burden is light.

To qualify, I am not saying that I no longer experience the futility and meaningless of work since then. Rather, whenever such pangs threaten to strike, I know that my work has a higher purpose and that even if I do not receive any praise or rewards from man, my reward is in heaven. 

if you guys are interested, i recommend reading "Every good endeavours" by Timothy Keller if you are feeling jaded and worn out :) 

Friendships 

It has been a humbling year for me - a year of lows and deep search of what it means to be friend and to have a friend. It's funny because I don't have many friends and yet this year I think the number just went down even further haha. 

Good friends help to sharpen each other and I'm really thankful for those few friends who stuck by me despite seeing the worst of me. As we go through disagreements, we learn how to respect each other and also to learn how to be a better friend to each other. I'm really glad that for those who are still here, our friendships got purer, deeper and kinder. 

But there are just a few friendships where no matter how hard I try, it makes me reconsider each time. In my opinion, true friends are there to celebrate your successes and are there for you when you are down. Hence, I struggle when I received more negativity and putting down compared to mutual encouragements. 

As I slowly learn to live life like a subtraction sum 减法生活, I realised that I really do not need toxic friends in my life. Some are friends I've known almost a decade or more and to be honest, it's really difficult to make the decision to let it go. However, I don't think it should carry on simply because every time we hang out, I end up leaving the meeting feeling more horrible about myself than ever. Sometimes I ended up having obsessive or anxious thoughts which were really difficult to deal with. That's really unnecessary. When I finally convinced myself that it is indeed a more prudent to remove that shrivelling branch, I felt more relief. 

Some other friends are not toxic but we just gradually grew apart. There is no space for either of us in our respective lives anymore. Perhaps it could be different phases in life or it could just be that our paths just continued to diverge. As the friendship grew apart, I remember trying every other month asking how have they been and remembering their special occasions. I tried arranging meet ups but it has often been met with the same excuse of being busy. Eventually I stopped asking altogether because I've realised that people who want to be in your life will make an effort to stay in life despite how busy they are. There's really no point forcing someone to stay in your life when they don't want to. It's sad but it's ok, we will all move on stronger :) 缘已尽

It's a reminder to myself that it is not the number of friends that I have but the quality of friendships that I develop.

Spiritual growth 

I'm definitely not proud of my spiritual life this year. I've had lots of emotional struggle and sometimes I blame God for those challenges. However, thank God that he never lets his wandering child away too long and always run towards the prodigal child whenever I decide to return. While I seldom get those spiritual highs like when I was younger, I'm thankful for a slow and steadfast peace from Him. 

As life got aimless and purposeless, God was there to be provide meaning. I am thankful for technology which allowed us to attend virtual church and discussion groups at the comfort of our homes. Thankful for BSF as I got to learn more about Genesis which is not just about how God created the earth but how he intended life for us. Praying that the Covid situation would get better and churches would reopen soon. 

Self development 

I'm proud of my Korean and Malay class progress so far! Hopefully I can keep this up next year as well :) It has been a fun filled journey learning the new languages and discovering how the language affects my thought processes as well. Looking forward to be able to finally watch korean dramas without subtitles :)

I'm still on the continuous journey of learning how to love and be kind to myself. Don't we beat ourselves up sometimes for the tiniest mistake and yet are much accepting to the faults of others sometimes? It's ok to make mistakes and the most important thing would be to learn from the mistake and move on. 

Lastly, I am also really glad that I've restarted blogging after so many years of hiatus. It reminded me how much I loved writing especially in chinese. I'll definitely blog more in chinese next year and I'm really excited :) 

okie that's all for this post! Happy New year everybody :] Will write another post on my plans and resolutions for the new year soon! 

断舍离 Danshari ~ breaking away from the clutches of things

突发奇想，好想用中文写一片文章。记得小时候，中文便是我的最爱。因为它很美，非常能够抓住情绪的重点和含义。但是，由于教育的关系，我不得不把中文搁在一旁，努力的为英文效力，争取好成绩。

真的好久好久没有用中文发文章了。。。想一下，应该有10年吧？😵 希望今天的文章还是能够转达我心中的感悟。 

大家请看一看吧！这是我断舍离之前的衣柜和断舍离之后的衣柜。我依然还是又很多件衣服 - 其实变化真的没有网上Marie Kondo那一般的惊人。但是我还是对我迈出的第一步感到骄傲和欣慰：）

什么是断舍离呢？

百度：“《断舍离》是日本山下英子创作的家庭生活类著作，于2009年首次出版。

该书主要讲述了日本杂物管理咨询师山下英子推出的概念：断等于不买、不收取不需要的东西，舍等于处理掉堆放在家里没用的东西。离等于舍弃对物质的迷恋，让自己处于宽敞舒适，自由自在的空间”

我总共捐了3-4袋的衣服吧。当我在分类衣服时，心中是蛮挣扎的。为什么呢？每当我看见一件好久没有穿上的衣服的时候，我总会联想起关于那件衣服的回忆或者是某种意义。比如说“啊，这是我在韩国旅行逛街时买的。。。这是我和男朋友第一次约会穿的。。。这是我在毕业典礼穿的。。。这是。。。可能以后可能有机会用到呢？” 等的理由会浮现在我的潜意识里。这是我一直以来无法成功整理我的衣柜的原因。 但是今天我还是下定了决心，把已经不适合我的或者买了从来不穿的衣服捐出去吧。

在断舍离的期间，我有了些许感悟。接下来和大家分享吧：

1. 快乐不应该取决于东西

看了我爆满的几袋衣服，我有点愧疚。很多件衣服都是一时冲动而买下来的。我以为买了它，我就能够开心，我就能够满足。或许穿了这件漂亮的小洋装，我就会被注意或者我的心灵会得到慰问？

原来，内心的知足来自于自我了解和成长。当心灵逐渐变得强大，我渐渐的明白来自于物品的快乐是极余短暂的，简直是昙花一现。当我明白简单其实很美好的时候，我发觉我越来越少以狂购来慰问我的心灵了。 Less is more :)

2. 不要成为物品的奴隶

很多时候当我们在做大扫除时，我们总是把东西拿出来，很想要丢而到最后又把它放回原位。我也会。虽然这次的断舍离我还是又被这中感觉征服了好几件，但还是有进步！

我们好像是在这些看似毫无价值的东西投入太多的感情和给予它太多的控制力了。每当我们想要把东西丢掉时，总是舍不得。切记：生不带来，死不带去。无需在身外物投射太多的情感和欲望。不要成为它们的奴隶。我们才是它们的主人。

3. 不要奢侈浪费

虽然说我所买的衣服都不是什么昂贵的品牌，但是累积起来的金钱数目应该至少又$500以上吧。因为之前真的很喜欢去便宜的购物街，或者在网上代购，很多件都不是属于很好的材质。穿了几次便会出毛或者走样。

每当我丢一件，我会牢牢地提醒自己当时到底有多浪费。把这笔钱用于读书或者益于自我提升的课程岂不是更好吗？我现在还不是属于网红的断舍离的极端主义者，所以不能肯定的说我以后不会再买衣服。但是我认为以后如果真的要买的话，就要买自己会反复穿的衣服，而不是那种暂时时髦但很快就会退潮的fast fashion. 若要买的话，要问一下自己能够在不同场合穿吗？质量也要好，不然买了穿了不几下就得丢了，浪费。

～

小时候我总会听到节俭便是美德。刚开始只是以为这是金钱上的省而已。长大后了解了深一层的含义：不要贪小便宜。便宜的东西未必是好货，有时候反而还害你浪费更多的金钱和时间去筛选。这也是对我自己的小小的提醒：若要购物的话，得物廉价美。不是所有的东西得用价钱来衡量。

看着比较整洁的衣柜后，整个人感觉比较轻松清爽了。感觉好像生活的累赘没有那么的沉重了。原本被物质控制的心态枷锁，慢慢的被解开了。

现在的我依然是不完美的。以后的某一天我可能又会掉进物质享受的坑之中。当时我为我现在的启发感到骄傲，而我会成为我最佳支持者。希望2021我会越来越了解自己，越来越满足，越来越知足常乐😁

Learning korean! 한국어

It has officially been 1 year since I've embarked on my Korean language learning journey! As like all learning experiences, there's bound to be ups and downs and times where I felt that giving up. My Korean is definitely not super fluent due to the hiccups in the learning plan, but I'm really happy that I took the first step to sign up for a course despite all advices. 

千里之行，始于足下！This chinese idiom reminds me that a road of thousand miles starts with the first step I take. However much I ponder whether the journey is worth taking, I would never be able to obtain any form of achievements nor fulfilment if I do not take the first step of faith. 

Let me share about my experience in learning as well as the schools i've attended. 

Afraid that I was simply joining the K-language bandwagon because of my 2019 June Korea trip, I decided to go for a more affordable class at the community centre.

Braddell Heights Community Centre 

My first school is at Braddell Heights Community Centre which is located near Serangoon MRT or right beside NEX. It is pretty convenient for me and it takes about <20 minutes for me to commute. Since I was a beginner, I started off with Basic 1 course which consisted of 10 lessons. The price was about $135 and I had to pay an additional $35 (? cant really remember) for the materials. I continued with Basic 2 with a marginal increase in price. Let's talk about the pros and cons, shall we? :) 

Pros: 

• The price point is really affordable and it is suitable for people who aren't sure whether they want to commit to learning this language and want a so called exploratory class. It works out to be around $15 dollars per class for about 2 hours. If you are a passion member and sign up online, you are entitled to 10% electronic discount :) 
• If you live near the community centre, travelling shouldn't be too much of a hassle as well :)
• Able to have make up class at other community centre should you miss your class.
• of course this is subjected to the availability and also depends on the pace of other classes. May not be entirely the same according to some of the classmates who went for make up classes. 

Cons: 

• You cannot choose your teacher or 선생님and there is no way you could find out who the teacher is until you start your class. 
• Pace of class can be a little slow and frustrating. I noticed loads of repetition and sometimes I thought that it would be more enjoyable if the pace were to be faster. However that being said, I do see the value of repetition especially when one is learning a foreign language :)
• Teacher to class size ratio is at 1:20. 
• it really depends on your luck for this. My class had a ratio of 1:6-7 depending on whether there was students from make up class or not so it wasn't too big a class. However, should you get the 1:20 ratio class size, you may not have much time practicing to speak the new language or having the teacher's attention. 
• This brings me to my next point which is little practice. Due to the larger class size, the teacher may not have time to focus on you and we have lesser air time to practice our korean. In my opinion, speaking a foreign language (albeit funny or wrong), is as important as studying the grammar rules and listening! 
• Not much practice 
• There wasn't any separate workbook for practice. Chaomugger kitty prefers somewhere where homework is given hehe. But this is just personal preference so its not really a con. 

You can click on the link below to find out more about korean classes held at the community centre. 

One PA Korean class

HANA korean class/ Crystal learning centre

So the hiccup that I mentioned at the start was none other than our bff of 2020 Covid-19 lol. Because of Covid, the gov imposed the circuit breaker and my advance Korean class was postponed indefinitely because of that. However, when we could resume in May, my korean teacher left the teaching post because of some personal reasons and my class was cancelled. While I did consider waiting and going to another community centre for the advance class, I thought it would be good to try out korean schools instead for the reasons mentioned above. 

Thus begin my journey to hunt for another class! 

I found HANA korean online via google search and I found many positive google reviews! Thus I decided to contact them and arrange for a class. The admin lady was friendly and was very serious in helping me to organise a class. After taking the placement test, we had a problem which was that they did not have any existing pre-intermediate classes available. She offered to contact me when the group was ready and had a minimum of 3 to go. 

The wait was probably almost a month or slightly more and initially we were settled on a physical class. However, due to the requests of one of the student, it became an online zoom class! To be honest, it was my first time having an online zoom class so I was rather hesitant and worried. I will share more later or perhaps the next post if this post gets too long. 

Let's jump in to the pros and cons:

Pros: 

• One of the more affordable Korean language schools available. For pre-intermediate I paid about $275 for 10 lessons at 2 hours each. This is inclusive of the materials. This brings it up to about $13.75 per hour. 
• Textbook and workbook provided unlike the community centre. 
• Online class: super convenient since you are at home. 
• Small class size of 1:3. There was enough airing time for all of us to read, speak and to answer questions. 
• Friendly teacher and she is really patient with us! 
• I guess it's the vibes? She doesn't give off the judgemental vibe which is really important for me as I get intimated easily. 

Cons: 

• The nature of online class somehow makes the class less interactive? Perhaps I'm a little old school and thus would still prefer physical classes. 
• Not as much speaking practice as I would have liked and as a result, my speaking skills is just mehh. 
• as compared to the community centre, I felt that the pace of this class could be a little bit too fast instead. We complete one chapter per lesson but I felt that we could have possibly benefited more with extra practices and conversations. 

Unfortunately, the teacher could not continue teaching us for intermediate 1 because she gotta go off to take care of her grandchildren. So...there was a point of uncertainty again because there were no suitable teachers nor classes to teach us. 

It was beginning to feel a little bit frustrating because there were quite a bit of unforeseen disruptions. I felt that if learning couldn't be continuous, the retention of knowledge drops after a while. While the centre actively tried to look for new teachers to fill in the gap, I've noticed that the teachers are not living in Singapore which means the lessons would be held online. This could lead to potentially 2 issues. Firstly, the teacher may not be permanent and may need to change a new teacher again. Secondly, the online lessons does not seem to have that kind of interaction I would like to have. 

Seoul Korean Language school 

This is currently the school which I am attending. It is conveniently located at Kovan centre, directly above MacDonalds. It's tucked away on the second floor of the shop houses located above Macs. 

Initially, I was considering between HANA korean and Seoul Korean Language school for my pre-intermediate lessons. However, giamsiap me decided to go with HANA korean due to the cost savings. The difference in price was about $100 odd dollars which ain't much per lesson to be honest... 

Due to the changes in teachers in my previous school, I decided to go for Seoul Korean for the reasons below: 

Pros: 

• Very close to my house ~10-15 minutes walk. It is very convenient and offers both online classes or physical classes. They gave me the option of switching to Zoom should I decide against physical classes later. 
• Comprehensive online website which allows you to have self learning. 
• Single teacher which means that I do not have to fear the lack of continuity and commitment. 
• side note, she moved to Singapore about 11 years ago and is proficient in English. This makes learning a foreign language easier :) You can find out more about her qualifications via the school's website. 
• efficient admin lady :) 
• provides workbook and textbook. 
• Interestingly, although I completed pre-intermediate at the previous school, my standard was still far below the pre-intermediate level after taking the placement test in this school >.< I ended up with Basic 4 haha. 
• interactive class! The teacher would pull out pictures and carve out time for oral, picture description and also listening. What I really enjoyed especially was that she would ask me random things in Korean and I would try to reply her in Korean as well :) 

Cons: 

• While comparing with Hana Korean, it is definitely more pricey but I guess it explains the better quality in teaching as well! 
• I signed up for the private 1-1 lessons because I wanted more attention to brush up my basic korean before moving on the higher levels/taking TOPIK exams. 
• I paid $805 for 10 lessons of 1.5 hours each inclusive of materials. 
• The break down of the price includes $20 registration fee, $35 materials fees (worksheet + tb) and $750 for 10 lessons. 
• If you sign up for 5 lessons only, it would be at the rate of $80 per lesson. 
• This isn't really a con per say, but personally it was a more expensive investment in learning korean because I wouldn't be able to receive as much attention in a group setting. That being said, if you are interested in group lessons, they have several openings which you can check it out :) 

It has been my 3rd lesson so far and I'm lovin' it! (no pun intended hehe). 

I can't really explain that sense of joy or accomplishment when I realised that I could understand simple Korean sentences and I could converse simply with the teacher about daily life. Learning a new language opens up a different world and allows a peek into their culture and diversity. 

If all goes well, I hope to take the Korean TOPIK test next year and continue on with this school as long as possible. My end goal would be to be able to read a Korean book and to appreciate their literature. It has been an arduous journey thus far - looking for new schools and teachers after each course, but I do hope that this would be the one to stay :) Will update once I finish my 10 lessons !! 

What have I gotten out of this hunting experience? 

I think one thing that I've learnt throughout this hassle of comparing and finding different Korean school made me realise that the price tag of the class cannot be everything that I should consider. Different school provide different value added option and at the same time would come with its own set of problem. I have to be very clear about what I value and what exactly I want to achieve out of this. 

For me, it became clear to me that I value continuity, commitment and the learning experience. I desire to experience the language as a whole (culture, grammar, vocab, life etc) and not just a one way didactic learning. While price should be a consideration, if it fulfils what I am looking for I think I would gladly pay for it. 

And Merry Christmas ! :) 

PARKROYAL @ beach road STAYCATION!

Lady luck was on my side and I managed to win a free night stay at PARKROYAL beach road hotel! Thanks, PARKROYAL for the staycation  

The hotel is opposite Arab street and within 10 minute’s walk from Bugis MRT station. There is also a bus stop in front of the hotel which is really convenient! So apart from trying out the restaurants within the hotel, you could always head out to Arab street and grab some middle eastern food! 

Check in process was seamless and the staff were polite and welcoming even though we were 2 hours early. While the hotel lobby is undergoing some face lift, it was inconspicuous and did not dampen the general ambience to the lobby.

The one-night stay includes a deluxe room with a king size bed and 2 complimentary breakfast. Look at how bigggg the bed is!! We were also given a complimentary goodie bag with masks, a bottle of hand sanitizer and a couple of wet wipes to ward off COVID. Hehe look at the two cute little gingerbread men dolled up as healthcare professionals to welcome us :> 

What was impressive was that they have removed bottled drinking water and added a filtered water system in the toilet to be environmentally friendly! While Singapore’s tap water is safe for direct consumption, the added filter system is an added boost. Hence, tourists need not fret about buying bulky 1L mineral water to boil for consumption. You have access to a direct drinking well! 

After putting down our barang-barang, we went the gym which was at Level 4. I would say that the gym is quite well equipped with a bar bell rack, a dozen of weights ranging from 1kg to even 25kg, machines and sufficient track mills and cycling machine.  For gym junkies out there, you won’t be disappointed! 

They also boast of a half an Olympic size pool with gorgeous backdrop featuring the Singapore flyer and marina bay sands. It was clean and wasn’t cluttered with too many people thanks to safe distancing measures. OH yes, they also hold floatfit classes at the pool that combines HIIT and yoga while balancing on the pool! Besides that, there is also a children’s play pool for kids to paddle around. 

Finally it was our long awaited breakfast! The layout of the cafe is beautiful!!!! It kinda slipped our mind that buffet breakfast was removed due to COVID so we were kinda disappointed. However, it was replaced with an ala-carte menu with a few main dishes to choose from. Each person is only entitled to one order. While they have a free flow portion, the items present were a little dull overall. Food was decent and was comparable to café brunches but in my opinion was not spectacular for what we have ordered. I can’t comment on the rest of the dishes because I didn’t try them. Although the breakfast situation wasn’t exciting due to the removal of the buffet, I actually think that this should be the way forward as it encourages less food wastage and better portion control for my greedy belly. 

My friend and I wanted to try out the Sichuan Dou Hua restaurant due to the Staycation perks but sadly it was fully booked  We then proceeded to check out, which was seamless as well.

Overall, I thought that it was a rather pleasant experience at Parkroyal Beach Road and would recommend any friends coming overseas (in future) to park themselves here while visiting Singapore. The hotel is situated centrally, and it is also a stone throw to many tourist attractions – definitely a plus point to those who prefer convenience. And if you think that the night is still young at 10 pm, head out to Arab street where many restaurants are still open for Alfresco dining and drinking experiences 

My financial mistake in 2019/2020

 We all get a little reflective towards the end of the year, don’t we? This year flew by quickly and has been challenging for many due to COVID-19. While I was revisiting my finances and reflecting on what I could possibly do better in the upcoming year, here are some financial ‘mistakes’ which I have made >.<

1. Signing up for packages

As a fresh graduate with a pay cheque, I felt empowered. I was no longer the student who had to scrimp and save by doing part time jobs to do what I like. One of the first place I visited was a facial salon because of the number of pimples that popped up after my finals in 2019. While I thought I was saving myself some money by looking up a Fave voucher for the first trial, I couldn’t resist the persuasion AKA hard selling of the facial lady that I needed to have the 10 sessions of facial. 

By signing on a facial package, I was committed to pay about $200 plus for 6 months. In total, I think I paid around $1.2k ++ for my facial package. TT 

I guess this was one of the silent ways where lifestyle inflation happens. I thought I could afford something because I’m working, and I ended up getting it. Moving forward, I shall no sign anymore packages and I will blog about this in another blog post. 

2. Getting a phone contract plan 

Not long after getting my facial package, I thought I needed a new phone because the battery on my iphone 8 was depleting a little faster than usual. Thus, I upgraded to an Iphone 11 signing up for the cheapest Starhub plan. After 30% hub discount, my phone plan was at $32 per month while I had to top up $200 for my new phone after trading in my iphone 11. The phone plan I had gives me 6gb of free data every month and 100 minutes of outgoing call. The amount of data given is a far cry from most sim-only plan which is around 20 gb. 

Let’s do some math: After 24 months of the plan, I would have paid $768. Together with the $200 top up, I would have paid $968 for my iphone 11. While the absolute price is still cheaper than the original price of the iphone, getting a sim-card only plan gives me more data usage and better flexibility of switching. 

With a 2-year phone contract plan, there is a lock in period of 24 months which I have to fulfill. Failure to do so will mean additional costs incurred. Also, the 2 year contract plan subtlety hints at consumers to change their phones after the contract is up even when the phone is still functioning fine. Thus, this leads to excessive consumerism and wastage. 

When my contract is up next Nov, I hope I wouldn’t be persuaded by the market that I need a new phone again  

3. Impulsive buys 

They say women shop whenever they are upset. I thought it was a necessary evil to cheer myself up by buying a piece of clothing, a little jewelry etc. If I don’t pamper myself when I’m down, then who would right? 

Then I realized that I kept coming home with dresses that I wouldn’t wear on a regular basis and shoes which I wouldn’t wear enough to justify the price tag… I mean 2 pairs of those shoes are still in its original packaging lol. 

It took a while of soul searching to understand that all these material things wouldn’t be able to make me happy. Even the momentary euphoria of receiving a parcel from online shopping or bringing your shopping home wouldn’t last as long as I wanted it to. Instead of believing that materialism is the cure to my unhappiness, I should find out the source of the unhappiness instead. For me, that would be to pray and to journal down my thoughts. I found that these were the most effective ways of finding peace to my anxious soul again. 

Over the course of the year, I think I’ve improved quite a bit!  I’ve cut down on unnecessary impulse buys and I’ve been learning to give thanks to whatever I have. This also helps me to buy things only when I need it and not out of want. Embracing the culture of minimalism helps me declutter my wants and to focus on things that core to my wellbeing. In this day and age where we are bombarded by a plethora of products and marketing, it’s always good to pause and rediscover what really sparks joy. 

So here are the 3 main financial mistakes I’ve tripped on between 2019-2020, what are some of your ‘mistakes’? 

Lifestyle deflation! Deflate like a balloon!

"I ask two things from you, Lord. Don't refuse me before I die. Keep me from lying and being dishonest. And don't make me either rich or poor; just give me enough food for each day. 9 If I have too much, I might reject you and say, 'I don't know the Lord.' If I am poor, I might steal and disgrace the name of my God" - Proverbs 30: 7-9

For the past 1 year of my working life, I’ve been exposed to the idea of lifestyle inflation rather frequently. 

Lifestyle inflation refers to an increase in spending when an individual’s income goes up. It tends to become greater every time an individual gets a raise/bonus and can make it difficult to get out of debt, save for retirement or meet other financial needs. Examples of lifestyle inflation would be getting that first branded bag. Branded watch, luxurious travel and even more frequent fine dining experience. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that all these are evil and should be avoided at all cost. What I’m saying is that these little wants start to creep in rather unconsciously into our lives and before we know it, that $x amount of pay cheque doesn’t seem to be able to support our lifestyle anymore. 

Was I a victim of lifestyle inflation? Hell yes! Some foolish mistakes I made was to immediately sign up for a facial package after I barely starting working for a few months and subsequently signed up for a gym membership T.T. AND a few months after, I went to get a new iPhone 11… so you kinda know what I mean. What went through my mine prior to signing was “since I’m working, I should be able to afford it! Its only about $100 plus per month mah.” Little did I know a few months down the road that I’ve unknowingly welcomed lifestyle inflation into my life. But what’s done is done and there is no point beating myself up over financial mistakes. However, I can always learn from my mistakes and not to make them again. 

So instead of lifestyle inflation, let’s go for lifestyle deflation instead! 

Lifestyle deflation is an active choice of deliberately choosing financial choices below your means AKA living below your means. This is especially important as one will never know when they next recession or retrenchment would hit you. As the saying goes, when it rain, it pours - it’s always good to live below your means so that should anything bad happen, you would still be able to weather the storm :) 

Here are some tips I use to remind myself to not succumb to the new crazy 

1. Stop chasing after the next fad 

You see, Apple is always gonna launch the latest iphone anyways. 

Until unless you realise that it is a never ending cycle, you are always going to chase after the next best thing, but at what cost? The market is always evolving and constant coming up with the latest gadgets to get consumers money. This means that within a few months, your ‘latest’ phone, EarPods etc wouldn’t be the ‘best’ out there anymore. Get off the race and buy only when you need to. 

2. Don’t compare with others. 

One of the things that drove me to buying more things, spending more on dining experiences previously was my comparison with my peers. I often see my peers having the 'time of their lives' whenever they post about their latest travel, finest food, cars etc on instagram. 

It makes me feel envious and kinda makes me wanna have those kind of experiences too. However, how i reminded myself is to never compare with others because firstly, our financial situation is different and secondly, looking rich doesn’t mean you are rich. You don’t have to keep keeping up with the Joneses :)

3. Choose the more affordable option 

Between Starbucks and kopitiam coffee? Choose the latter if you just need the caffeine kick. I’m not saying that we should restrain ourselves from all forms of ‘luxury’ and ‘comfort’ nor am I suggesting to choose the cheapest option of it all, but I think we should always choose to be prudent. 

Cafe brunch or hawker centre breakfast? Choosing the former could easily set us back about $22! That could buy me about 5 bowls of fishball noodles or 4 plates of caifan! 

4. Be grateful and contented

Being thankful and counting my blessings remind me that less is more. How much could I really need to be happy? Not much. 

This ties in nicely with the notion of being contented. When I am contented with what I already have, I find myself having less desire to purchase the next piece of fashionable clothing etc. 

Thus, the next time you find yourself coveting the latest iphone, ask yourself if could potentially make you happy or it is just a momentarily euphoria. 

Remember, you really don’t need a lot to be happy :) 

*image taken from google images*

You don't really need a gym membership ...

It’s kind of a bittersweet experience that my gym membership at Anytime Fitness will come to end this month. It was a place where my habit and routine of exercising developed but somehow along the way, I felt that it was not exactly necessary for me. Let me explain:

I signed up for the gym membership a few months into my work because I felt that using the SGactive gym was a little too troublesome… The public gyms were often crowded, and this meant that I had to wait around to use the weights etc. It made sense for me to sign up for a gym membership if I were to use it regularly and cut down on the sharing time. So I signed up at ATF under the healthcare heroes promo and got a rather affordable rate for 1 year. 

Initially, things were fun and diversified. There were classes for me to join and there was gym equipment for me to use. I didn’t have to ‘force’ myself to any routine and exercising was fun! I remember I could choose to attend kickboxing classes, yoga or HIIT classes whenever I did not feel like doing a ‘normal’ gym workout. 

Unfortunately, all these group classes grinded to a stop due to COVID-19 and I only had the choice to do the normal workouts myself or use the track mill. As my goal of going to the gym is not really to lift a 120 kg of weight etc, it became somewhat a chore to me to head down to the gym almost 3-4 times a week out of obligation as I didn’t want to ‘waste’ my membership. This continued till Circuit breaker this year when all gyms were closed. Initially I was a little frantic because it was obviously a disruption to my weekly routine. What if I became weaker after a month?! Well, dengue happened so it didn’t really matter haha. 

Even after I recovered from dengue, the gyms weren’t allowed to open yet! Thus, I reverted back to basics: HIIT and running outdoors. I found different YouTube channels which provided free workouts including HIIT, Pilates, yoga and weights workout. On days where the weather was cooling, I would go for a short run. These made me realize that hey! I do not actually need a gym to be healthy and fit! And to be honest, I was really getting bored of heading to the gym aimlessly for 3-4 times a week (ok, I still did proper workouts but just not as motivated before).

While going back to basics may take some time for me to grow accustom to, I’m confident that I’ll be able to enjoy those free youtube workouts in no time just at the comforts of my home. T&I also ordered a combined 105kg paired dumbbell set so that we can exercise at home as well. Well, I’m actually glad cb happened as it showed me the things which I could possibly live without and gym is probably one of them. Cheers to ~$1000k ++ savings per year from now on!  

Questions to ask yourself when you are considering a gym membership:

1. Would you utilize it often enough such that the cost per visit is justified? 

a. For me, each visit turned out to be around $7-$10 depending on the frequency I visited the gym. It was worthwhile when there were lessons because it was one of the main pull factors that got me signed up. However, with group classes put on indefinite halt, I don’t think $7-$10 for a normal gym work out (mostly dumbbell, machines and the track mill) is worth it for me. 

2. Is the gym accessible? 

a. IMO, I think the gym should be close to your house to save you some travelling time. If it takes an hour for you to travel, you might end up going to the gym less and less when life hits you. 

3. Do you need the fancy equipment? 

a. After trying out lifting and the squatting rack, I realized that I really have no passion to be those heavy weightlifters. Sure, they are really impressive, but I’m really not game for it haha. 

b. If you are just like me, perhaps it would be less stressful and more cost effective to invest in a yoga mat and a set of dumbbells for home workout 

If you are interested where I got my weights from, I got it from ezbuy: https://m.ezbuy.sg/product/51000600897119.html

I have not received it yet but so far the reviews are good! Will update once I receive it :> 

The paradox of choice – How I chose my wedding banquet

Remember that I said I was flustered and almost angsty because I couldn’t decide on the venue? Tada, I have fallen into the trap of the paradox of choice. Like many kiasu Singaporean out there, I couldn’t make a decision unless I have done my research and made enough comparison right?? It’s the fear of missing out on the best deal! To a certain extent yes. I still believe in having a selection of choice and making an informed decision. However, what happens when there are too many options to choose from and I just can’t choose? 

The idea of ‘less is more’ is popular among the minimalist. Therefore, they question themselves if they need so many things in their life that clutters not only their physical space but also their mental clarity. 

Rolf Dobelli highlighted the illusion of choice very clearly in his book “The art of thinking clearly” where he mentioned that too many choices leads to inner paralysis. This in turn leads to poorer decision quality and frustration. He listed an example where her sister had TOO many selections of tiles to choose from for her new house that she just couldn’t decide on which one. This was because she was afraid that she would make the ‘wrong’ choice and wants to make the ‘best’ decision. However, there is simply so such thing as a perfect decision. 

This reminder helped me focus a little more when I was about to go deeper into the selection frenzy. When I was frustrated and could not make a decision, I wanted to look for more choices for comparison as I thought it would help me in making a better choice. Nope. So what I have learnt from the book is that when there are a wide selection of choices, I have to: 

1. List down what I want – which was what I did in my previous blog post. 

2. Write it down and follow it rigidly – following it rigidly was tough 

3. Learn to love the ‘good choice’.  

Ultimately, we have to be gentle with ourselves and understand that we will never make a perfect decision. Sometimes we may have judgment errors but hey that’s ok because life is about continuous learning journey right? ☺

Therefore, for my wedding gown selection, I have decided to narrow down into my top 3 bridal boutiques before going down 👍

Banquet site viewing - part II

Next up, let’s talk about the last 3 hotels which we crammed visited on Saturday. 

Regent Hotel 

First up we have regent hotel. I was really excited to visit this place as the food on the menu looked great! Let’s find out more below. 

1. Price 3/5 stars 

Really off our budget. However, comparing with 2019 and 2018 rates, their rates for this year actually decreased by quite a bit. I guess it’s probably due to COVID-19. For BTB who has a bigger budget, I think this is a good deal! 

2. Food 5/5 stars

One Michelin star restaurant! The food would probably be great?!

3. Capacity 4/5 stars 

For both Nassim and Paterson room, they require a minimum 100 pax and they charge by a table of 10. This means that if you have a turn up rate of 90, you will still be charged for 100 pax. But this is a rare time where they allow 100 pax and its ‘thanks’ to covid again!

4. Layout 5/5 stars 

I fell in love with the hotel the moment I stepped into it!! Although the exterior of the hotel looked old, the interiors were well furbished and grand. It felt rather majestic when I stepped into the lobby. The layout of Nassim room is elongated and the floral arrangements are great. The windows are a plus point as the natural sunlight would allow for great pictures during AD. For Paterson room, it is more rectangular, and every table would be able to have a better view of the stage compared to Nassim room. 

5. Location 3/5 stars 

It takes about 10-15 minutes for you to walk from orchard station. Alternatively, you could take bus 36 (it’s a loop) in front of the Thai embassy and it drops you off directly outside regent hotel. It is not the most convenient compared to the rest of the venues, but I think it’s still easier to find than some other hotels like Fort canning lol. 

6. Miscellaneous perks 4/5 stars 

They are offering quite a bit of perks this time round: 1 night of bridal suite, 20L of beer, 1 bottle of wine per confirmed table of 10, tea ceremony room etc. What made them stand out was the Loccitane hand cream as their wedding favor. 

7. Communication 3.5/5 stars 

I think the sales manager assigned to us was professional throughout from emails, whatsapp to face to face meetups. However, just like what other previous brides mentioned on the forums, it was rather difficult to negotiate for cash rebates/discounts or perks. We did manage to negotiate for slightly more perks on top of the standard ones proposed, but she suddenly told us that we have to upgrade our menu to the higher tier one because it was “a popular date”. T & I were almost ready to sign with them even though the price was about 2k off our initial budget and less than ideal negotiation. However, the deal fell apart when she sent us an email telling us that we have to upgrade to the higher tier menu when it was not mentioned previously at all even during our soft booking. While the difference in the cost was not significant but what we felt was that the mandatory upgrade to the expensive menu was just a way to make us ‘pay’ for the additional 1-2 perks which we negotiated for… Let’s calculate: the difference between the higher tier menu and the normal menu is about $200 plus. An additional night stay at the bridal suite which we managed to negotiate for would also cost around the same. Thus, T felt that we should still head to Hilton which provided better perks, offers good cost savings and most importantly the sales manager was very friendly.

TBH, I was rather disappointed because I really liked the venue  But I gotta remind myself that it is just a single event which will probably fade off with time. Indeed, it is a once in a lifetime event but perhaps better memories could be created in a venue with friendlier staff and the cost savings could be used for our honeymoon instead.

Ultimately, this little frustration created an opportunity for me to remind myself that marriage is a journey, and the venue shouldn’t play such a significant contribution to the level of happiness. It also served as an opportunity to learn how to submit to the headship of the family when we are unable to make a decision. 

Overall stars: 3.9/5 stars. 

Did not choose this venue because of point 5. 

Sheraton Towers 

1. Price 5/5 stars 

Sheraton Towers was having their annual wedding fair on 14 November and was offering cash rebates of $111+++ per table of 10. That would mean that it is <$150 per pax which is within budget 

2. Food 5/5 stars 

Li Bai restaurant is well known for their Chinese food and we were not too worried about it. 

3. Capacity 5/5 stars 

The venue allowed a minimum accommodation of 100 guests which is what we are planning for. 

4. Layout 3/5 stars 

It was a rectangular shaped room with the stage being in the center of the room. This mean that the march in was only about 10 m or less. Besides that, the room had rather bulky pillars present and guests on either side of the pillar would not be able to see the march in. Since the stage is in the middle, the view of the stage shouldn’t be obstructed. However, it wasn’t really to my liking due to the lack of windows, short march in and a low ceiling height. It made the area rather Claus trophic. However, if BTB has a minimum table of 22, you guys can consider their grand ballroom which has a high ceiling and a L shape layout. I would definitely consider Sheraton if not for the crammed room because the atmosphere of the hotel is just great!

5. Location 5/5 stars 

Right smack beside the Newton MRT station. What more can I ask for?! 

6. Miscellaneous perks 5/5 stars 

They were offering almost free flow of wine (about 8 bottles for the Topaz room) and also a complimentary day use of the hotel room from 10-4 pm for the wedding helpers. The complimentary usage of room was not offered by the previous hotels we went so this came as a surprise to us. They also offered to set up the tea ceremony for us at a separate room. Overall I felt that they were really sincere in extending this offer to us. Oh yes before I forget, they even gave us a door gift which consisted of cakes and macarons!! YUMZ  

7. Communication 4/5 stars 

The initial sales rep who was allocated to us was busy with another couple so another lady came to serve us. She was polite and went through the perks of the package with us. She wasn’t pushy and was generally sincere. Email correspondence was a little slow but overall I think it’s ok. 

Overall stars: 4.5/5 stars. 

Didn’t choose them due to the layout of the room  HOWEVER I would be back for their high tea! Owners of the Standard chartered credit cards would be able to enjoy 1-1 high tea set at Sheraton Towers from now till 31 march 21. Don’t say bojio! 

Hilton 

Our last stop was Hilton which was beside Hung’s Jewellery/Jann Paul. And of course I dragged T there before our appointment at Hilton just to check the prices out Heh. Will blog about the different places we went to compare wedding bands in another post. 

1. Price 5/5 stars 

Initially we thought that the offer of ‘for every 10 paying, 1 guest free’ offer would be extended to us, thus we were thrilled at the potential cost savings. Unfortunately, that only applies if we choose to get hitched before September 21 but that would be a little too fast and furious haha. Nonetheless, the price for Sunday Lunch banquet still fall well within our budget of <$150. 

2. Food 5/5 stars 

What caught my attention was the option of having live stations which consist of suckling pig, peking duck crepe and liquid nitrogen sakura meringue. Doesn’t it sound amazing?!?!?! While they do not boast of any Michelin star standard like Regent, they do have mouth watering dishes like chilli crab claws, braised lobster soup and orange honey pork ribs. I guess I’m already sold. Plus, review on wedding forums have mentioned that their food standard remains even on actual day – which is a difficult task given that they have to do mass cooking. 

3. Capacity 4.5/5 stars 

Vista room is able to accommodate a minimum of 100 guests while Panorama room needs a minimum of 140 guests. A drop in 0.5 stars because I’m not able to book Panorama room cos I won’t have enough minimum pax haha.

4. Layout 5/5 stars 

Panorama room was my initial favourite due to the long span windows and high ceiling. This would mean my AD photos could turn out gorgeous! However, I think it’s a bit pointless to try to squeeze 140 people from the list just to book this room lol. Vista room on the other hand has a shorter ceiling height and is rectangular in shape. There are windows as well but the poor hotel people would have to remove all the storage from the window area before our wedding according to the sales rep if we want the windows drawn>.< Overall I think vista room is not too bad as it fulfils my criteria of having windows (natural light), suitable length of march in and most importantly, a minimum pax of 100. 

5. Location 5/5 stars 

It’s walkable from orchard mrt station and directly opposite the Thai embassy (very safe lol). Just kidding. There is also an open-air carpark opposite wheelock or behind far east shopping mall which can accommodate guests  Guests can go kai kai before the wedding or after at orchard road, so I think the location is pretty great!

6. Miscellaneous perks 5/5 stars 

We managed to negotiate for 2 night’s stay at the bridal suite (an upgrade from 1 night stage at bridal suite + 1 night stay at deluxe room). On top of that, they offered free flow wine throughout the banquet starting from reception! WOWz, not many hotels offer free flow alcohol so I think this is one of the perks that made them stand out. Also, the sales rep was rather forthcoming stating that while only 15% of carpark attendance is guaranteed, she would try her best to offer more should our guest need it. Another add on they offered was also pre-wedding reception should covid situation approves. All in all, Hilton is the most forthcoming and sincere in offering couples perks and they make me feel that they would really put in their 100% effort in making sure my big day is a success. 

7. Communication 5/5 stars 

Communication with the lady was efficient. As we were trying coordinate the church and the banquet dates, we were a bit flustered and needed an urgent reply from her. However, she replied rather promptly when I texted her when there was some delay in her reply on email. Although she was on course then and could not check on the date’s availability, she got managed to get her colleague to send us the available dates within an hour! On top of that, I felt that even though Hilton is also a 5 star hotel, they didn’t give off the vibes where they “if you cannot afford then don’t come”; “don’t nego for too many perks” “we already giving you the best perks” kinda vibes. 

Overall: 4.9/5 stars. 

Overall winner is Hilton! <3 Will share on another separate post about my irrational struggle when deciding among the top 3 picks despite Hilton being the obvious winner. Stay tune!